Funny T-Shirt Cremation is my only hope

"Cremation is my only hope for a smoking hot body. I’ve tried everything else—countless crunches, juice cleanses, and even that torturous hot yoga class where I sweated more than a sinner in church. But no matter what, this body remains more soggy than sculpted. So, I figure the day I end up in the flames is probably the first time I'll finally achieve the kind of smoldering physique that would make me look fire... literally!"