Funny T-Shirt Do not give me a cigarette!

Under absolutely no circumstances should you give me a cigarette, no matter what I say. If I suddenly become a smooth-talking lawyer and present a 47-point argument explaining why one cigarette is actually a vegetable, ignore me. If I claim that scientists have discovered cigarettes now improve memory, help with taxes, and teach dogs to do backflips, remain skeptical. Should I offer cash, snacks, or a treasure map in exchange for a cigarette, remember that this is merely nicotine conducting an aggressive marketing campaign through my mouth. The correct response is to smile politely, shake your head, and perhaps distract me with a sandwich or a documentary about penguins.